TEENAGE SEX TODAY…IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR CHANGE?
September 4, 2009
(Parents, please read in its entirety)
As I sit here thinking about the past week’s adventures, I continue to come back to my message on Wednesday night and what has spurned that 6 weeks series. I spoke on a subject that 80 surveyed students had as their #1 issue they are facing. This subject is on a majority of commercials, television shows, movies, magazines, bill boards, websites, classrooms, workplaces, locker rooms, and pretty much everywhere else! That subject is SEX! My experiences as a youth pastor and this subject have drastically changed in the past several years. The subject matter has had to become so much more detailed and graphic as their minds and hearts have become numb to the many sexual messages being thrown their way. We see that what was once the knowledge and experiences of those 17 and above are now the norm for those 11-14. With the rise of sexual encounters w/ webcams and sexting, the morning after pill, and culture that is adapting to the raging hormones….are we seeing a battle lost?
The more I am on the school campuses; this is an area that continues to baffle me. This is becoming a major issue. A tremendous problem. A problem we all see, but very few are doing anything positive about.
So who has the greatest responsibility in helping turn a generation back to passionate purity that is saturated with sex? Let’s look at a few of the possibilities:
1. School
As walked into a school the other morning about to speak to a group of students, I saw a couple ladies setting up for “Sex Ed” or “Family Education” as they called it. I asked a couple of the students what it was for and everyone I asked simply rolled their eyes telling me what it was. All I saw was the slide they had up on the overhead, but what I saw was not what I believe our teens need to hear in order to raise their awareness on the subject. If anything, most of those students could have taught the information I saw. This is not to be critical of what I saw or those ladies teaching it.
Here are some of the stats recently released from The Media Project which has a unique approach to its stats. It offers entertainment professionals facts, research assistance, script consultation, and story ideas on today’s sexual and reproductive health issues, including condoms, pregnancy, HIV/AIDS, abstinence, and abortion. While it is totally secular, it provides the blunt truth of where our teens are today on sexual facts on today’s teens.
-Half of all mothers of sexually active teenagers mistakenly believe that their children are still virgins. The U.S. has one of the highest rates of STDs among adolescents and the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world.
-Many schools do not teach sex ed. Just 69% of schools even have a policy about sex education of any kind.
-93% of all sex ed programs in public schools teach mainly about contraception and condoms in order to help kids make healthier decisions about sex.
From what I gather from what I have researched, the sex ed classes simply teaches how to be safer sex, raising their awareness to STD’s, and shameful tactics of scaring them with the thought of pregnancy. This isn’t going to cut it.
2. Youth Ministry
In my opinion, the programs and messages established should be developed to come along side the parents, assisting them in their God-given role to disciple their kids. Hopefully develop some mentors for those kids whom don’t have a good family environment.
As a youth pastor, I believe and know there are some aspects to our ministry that have helped a good percentage of our students understand the importance of purity, but is it enough?
3. Parents
This is my pick for the one that can have the greatest influence on teenager’s sexual choices. Parents spend an estimated 2500 hours with their kids compared to the 140-200 hours a youth ministry does. That’s a ton of time to make an amazing impact and leave a phenomenal legacy.
When I hear what our students are going through, hear what the football players are saying in the locker room, and watch what the teens are saying and doing in the hall ways, it makes me think of one individual who can have the greatest impact on a teen…DAD!
Dads, in every way possible, this is what I strongly believe you need to discover how to do if you have:
A boy: Help him realize that girls are to be treated as princesses. One of the best ways to do this is for him to see you treat your wife as a queen. His greatest teacher of how to treat females is by your lifestyle. You are his role model. I don’t want to hear this mess about, “I’m just like my dad and how he treated my mom.” You are your own person, who makes his own choices, and takes responsibility for himself. Your son needs to understand that he has a great responsibility when dating a girl. He needs to know that he is protecting her for her future husband. That he needs to do all he can to help her stay pure for him.
Help your son understand his raging hormones. Talk to him openly about masturbation and the dangers of pornography. He will daily receive messages from the world that are opposite from yours, therefore you need to be consistent.
And dude, just balance it with spending time with him doing what he wants to do.
A Girl: Let her see and hear that she is valuable and a beautiful creation from God. Again, she needs to see that you treat her mom like a queen so those boys have something to live up to. She won’t want to date a guy who treats her like dirt unless you treat your wife like dirt. Have a date night at least once per month with your daughter.
Parents, your role is so vital in helping your child stay pure. It’s not the job of the school or the church, it’s yours!
I could keep on going but this blog is already long, therefore I am going to stop. Parents, if you desire any resources to help you or just desire prayer, please contact me. God Bless you and I hope you see that it’s never too late to be your child’s sexual educator.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
